Speaking Into the Void: being ghosted, one-way conversations, & feeling unseen as a highly sensitive person

How I learned to navigate rejection without taking it personally

One of my personal biggest triggers is feeling unseen and unheard.

Like, on a small note, when I tell my husband something and he doesn’t respond, I’ve been known to say, “Hey, do you hear me?! Can you at least acknowledge what I said?!”

To which he’s usually unbothered and confused, like, “Yeah, babe. Just didn’t really seem like it warranted a response.”

As someone who likes to have the last word (haaa, anyone else?), I can’t relate. I pretty much always have something to say in response.

But this isn’t really about the small moments of feeling triggered.

This is about the deeper wound at play. The one that gets me feeling like I’m yelling into the void; like I’m holding up a megaphone while people walk by, completely missing my very existence.

When being unseen becomes a wound

THAT type of feeling — the “I’m speaking into the void does anyone hear me?!?!” feeling — has been a massive opportunity for healing in my life.

It’s one that has been amplified to the 20489th degree through having an online platform; through putting my voice, beliefs, vulnerabilities into the world… and basically serving it up on a silver platter saying: "Well, this is me! What do you think? Do you like it? Do you feel the same way?”

Sometimes it’s felt like a one way conversation.

One where, I’m sharing openly on my end, but there is no guarantee of receivership on the other side. There is no guarantee of being understood, seen, or validated in what I’ve shared.

And dang, that has resulted in some deeply powerful soul searching for me.

I’ve worked with highly sensitive people (HSPs) for the past seven years, and I often hear similar sentiments from the people I work with.

“How do I get the people in my life to understand my sensitivity? They think I’m just too emotional. They don’t understand why this feels like such a big deal for me!”

or, “I feel like people can never match my emotional depth. I want to have deeper relationships with people, but feel like I’m always doing the heavy lifting and they don’t care as much as I do".”

I’ve worked with people who find themselves frequently nursing vulnerability hangovers, questioning, “Should I have said that? Do I seem like I’m too much?”

There’s this very natural, innocent, genuine desire for acceptance and understanding from others when you’re an HSP. When your lived experience feels different and more intense than most of the people around you, you start to question yourself.

Especiallyyyy when you have experiences of sharing your feelings and being met with, “Huh? Why are you making this such a big deal?” or “That’s seriously still bothering you? Get over it!”

These experiences pile on top of each other, until you reach a point where you simply expect misunderstanding. You start silencing yourself, agreeing to keep the peace, and holding back because you don’t want to deal with someone thinking you’re being “too much.”

When silence starts to shape how you see yourself

Not to mention, you start doubting yourself. When you start hearing so many times that you’re being “too sensitive”, you start to believe it, ya know?

Maybe I am being dramatic here.

Maybe I shouldn’t feel this way.

Why can’t I be normal like everyone else?!

All of that to say, I wholeheartedly understand the HSP-I-feel-deeply-misunderstood experience both on a personal level, and through the lens of coaching many HSPs who feel this way.

If you’re a person who’s felt misunderstood, unseen, not accepted for who you are… you are also likely someone who feels quite sensitive to rejection, invalidation, and lack of response.

I remember my first taste of rejection when I started coaching HSPs in 2020.